


Fallen

by AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 4x17/ Aftermath / Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell/pseuds/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She feels ashamed and broken.  She's drowning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallen

**Fallen**

**.**

**.**

With tears in her eyes Emily stands there in front of the church. Snowflakes glistening in her dark hair, soaking her black coat. Blood still dripping from her nose.

She's thinking about Matthew, about John, about the baby she couldn't have. Allows herself to think about it for the first time in almost 25 years and it fills her with so much sadness, so much hurt, she's barely able breathe.

She thinks about all the things Matthew's mother said to her, knows she'd been right.

It had been her fault. She took him down a road he never should have taken. She ruined Matthew's life. She, the only one to blame for his death.

Emily has no idea how much time has passed, has no idea what time it is. Snowflakes still tumble to the earth, putting a white blanket all over the city. It's so cold her fingers have turned numb. The old worn childhood picture frozen between her fingers. Unshed tears blurring her vision.

She knows she should get home, should get herself warmed up before she catches herself pneumonia. But she can't bring herself to move, she's frozen to the spot in front of the church.

Long forgotten memories of a summer in Rome tearing her apart.

"Emily."

A familiar voice makes her spin around and she finds David Rossi a few feet away from her. His hands shoved down in the pockets of his coat, worry written all over his face.

She wants to say something, wants to ask him what he's doing here. But the words won't come and she just looks at him.

"Let me take you home," he tells her. Stepping closer.

She wants to tell him no. Wants to tell him that she's fine, that she doesn't need anyone to take her home. But she knows it's not true, knows she's on the verge of losing it. And she can't say anything.

Emily watches him come closer. His eyes never leaving hers. And she wonders how he found her.

She feels his hand on her waist, pulling her slowly to his side. His voice close against her ear. "Let's go," he whispers.

Emily blinks. Nods. A lonely tear spills down her frozen cheek.

.

She doesn't realize he hasn't taken her to her apartment until he makes her sit down on a couch in front of a fireplace.

She doesn't have a fireplace.

"Where are we?" she asks him. Her voice thick with sleep. And she wonders why she can't remember the car ride.

"My house," Dave tells her, placing a blanket around her shoulders.

"Why?"

He shrugs. Smiles. "It was closer than your apartment."

Emily blinks. Nods.

 _Right._ It's snowing. The roads are icy. They're in the middle of a snow storm.

She watches him start a fire, watches the flames come to life. Gets lost in the raging flames until Dave places a glass in her shaking hands.

She blinks again, looks down at the auburn liquid. Suddenly feeling close to tears.

"It had been John Cooley's baby, hadn't it?"

The glass slips from her hands. Breaks into pieces on the wooden floor. Scotch spilling over her shoes.

She looks up, meets Dave's gaze and wonders what gave her away.

She wants to tell him that he's wrong, but the words get stuck in her throat. She wants to look away but she can't seem to move. Can't fight the trembling of her body, can't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

A sob escapes her and breaks the dead silence in the room.

She feels ashamed and broken. A sudden pain crushing her lungs, her chest. Walls coming down around her, waves of despair pulling her under.

And she's drowning.

She can't breathe, can't fight against the emotions tumbling down, so fast she's losing it.

There's a voice saying her name, a hand placed on hers and she remembers she's not alone. Remembers she's still at Dave's. Remembers that this isn't the place to break down, isn't the person to break down in front of.

Tomorrow she'll have to face him again, have to work with him and how is she supposed to do that if she knows he's seen her this fragile?

She tries to breathe, tries to compose herself. But it's no use.

The tears fall, her breathing just sharp and irregular gasps and she knows she's hyperventilating. She's managed to get herself into a hysterical break down.

She wants to laugh, but ends up coughing instead.

She feels Dave's hands around hers, his voice trying to calm her down while he pulls her close against his chest.

She wants him to stop, shakes her head and tries to break herself free, but she's feeling dizzy and tired and she can't. Her cheek comes to a rest against the soft fabric of his button down, his arms around her trembling form holding her softly pressed against him.

And for the first time in almost 25 years Emily Prentiss gives up fighting. Surrenders.

Dave tells her to breathe, tells her to listen to his voice and she does. Her fingers clutch his shirt while she breaks and shatters.

Wondering if she'll be able to pick up the pieces ever again.

**.**

**.**


End file.
